Volleyball

Tryouts/conditioning
has been going on for about a week
and a couple of days now.
So far I am doubting my chances of making varsity
& it is pissing me the eff off that I doubt so much.
I have so much pressure to be positioned as a setter,
and honestly, my setting is a bit rusty & I would much rather prefer
be a back row hitter or whatever. Anything but set.
I played last year as a setter, and one of the captains on JV.
Sorry to say but, I do NOT want to play JV again.
I know I could do well and have potential to play varsity,
but I'm starting to see that some people are doubting me as well. :/
I wanted to cry one day at practice because I was being put down
as a sucky setter. It just makes me feel as if I'm not
good enough
and I hate feeling like I'm not ever good enough.

I talked it out with a couple of my old team mates and
they brought me back up and told me not to give up.

My ultimatum was that If I don't make varsity then that's it.
I don't want to play JV. I'm tired of losing.
I know I have potential to play varsity
If I don't make Varsity then screw it, I'll just get a job instead.

I think I've changed my mind...
I will consider playing JV again..
Idk.
I will cry though!
lol

*Let's hope I make Varsity! :)